Homage to Brasília

Top: The man of the hour.
Bottom: Roll over images for captions.

Homage to Ivan Torres

Before I get started, I'd like to announce that this is the 50th post on Homage to Brasília. The site has received nearly 2000 hits over the past few months, with many visitors finding the site while searching for pages that mention John Basedow and speedos. Interestingly enough, I discovered that a Google search for the words "japanese" "cartoon" and "pixies" will lead you directly to this site. That's right, Homage to Brasília is the premiere site on the entire internet for "japanese" "cartoon" "pixies." Now, I'm happy to announce that today it will become the premiere site of the illustrious Ivan Torres.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Ivan is the most powerful man in the embassy. His laconic demeanor maintains his air of mystery and allows him to command with nary a well-directed glance. His cool reserve instills confidence in all that surround him; many have expressed that they feel safe knowing that their safety is in Ivan's hands.

Despite the otherworldly respect that he naturally commands and receives, Ivan is humble and spends his days making coffee and spit-shining the shoes of his superiors. He has also been entrusted to take pictures of furniture under the pretext that he's helping with "inventory," when in reality he is only being given busywork while his bosses stifle their laughs behind his back.

When not toiling beneath the scourge of his taskmasters Rory and Jaime, Ivan can be found on one of the embassy's many computer stations checking his score on Hot or Not. While Hot or Not's statistics claim that he is 'hotter' than 93% of the men rated on its site, you can surely expect the number to rise as he gets in shape through his deep water running class. He has yet to be discouraged by his instructor's constant barrage of ridicule, her constant reminders that he should be running and not walking, and the fact that he spends the majority of his time in the pool merely clinging to life.

Ivan is a gentleman. He once requested that I play a song for his visiting girlfriend on my guitar while he "[took] a dump." His discreet manners ensure that any woman that wins his affection will be respected and admired to the utmost. As pictured above, his talents, style and physique are the things that dreams are made of. Women flock to Ivan like white on rice.

Haiku:
Ivan shuts his eyes
He is not like other men
Women's hearts flutter

Most importantly, Ivan is a brother. Brasília wouldn't be anything if it weren't for the great Ivanho! Godspeed little brother!

If only he can pass his driving test.